8. You’ve Weathered Storms Together
If you’ve faced major challenges together—loss, illness, financial hardship, family crises—and come out the other side still committed to each other, your marriage is probably stronger than most.
Why this matters: It’s easy to be happy together when life is good. The true test of a marriage is how you handle the hard times. If you’ve survived difficult periods together, you’ve proven your relationship can withstand pressure.
Common storms couples face:
- Loss of a loved one
- Serious illness or injury
- Financial difficulties or job loss
- Infertility or pregnancy loss
- Caring for aging parents
- Raising a child with special needs
- Mental health challenges
- Career setbacks or relocations
What survival looks like: You didn’t just make it through—you made it through together. Maybe it wasn’t pretty. Maybe you struggled. But you didn’t give up on each other, and you might even feel closer now because of what you endured.
The resilience factor: Research from the University of Denver found that couples who successfully navigate major stressors together develop what psychologists call “relationship resilience”—a proven ability to handle future challenges as a team.
The truth: If you can look back at hard times and say “We got through it together,” you have evidence of your marriage’s strength that no amount of date nights or romantic gestures can provide.
9. You Make Each Other Laugh
Laughter might seem trivial, but it’s actually one of the most powerful indicators of relationship health. If you still make each other laugh regularly—even after years together—you have something precious.
Why this matters: Humor creates connection, diffuses tension, and makes daily life more enjoyable. Couples who laugh together report higher satisfaction and better communication. Laughter literally bonds you together through shared positive emotions.
What this looks like:
- You can make your spouse laugh during stressful times
- You share the same sense of humor (or appreciate each other’s)
- You laugh about yourselves and your quirks
- You find humor in daily life together
- You can laugh about past arguments or awkward moments
- You send each other funny texts or memes
- You have silly moments together that no one else sees
The science: Studies show that couples who use humor—especially during conflicts—resolve disagreements more successfully and report greater relationship satisfaction. Laughter releases bonding hormones and reduces stress hormones.
Different humor styles: You don’t need to have identical senses of humor. What matters is that you appreciate what makes each other laugh and that you create opportunities for lightness and joy together.
Reality: If you can still crack each other up after 10, 20, or 30+ years together, you’re doing something right. That playfulness is often missing in struggling marriages.
10. You Choose Each Other, Every Day
Perhaps the most important sign of a strong marriage is this: you keep choosing each other. Not because you have to, not because divorce would be complicated, but because you genuinely want to be together.
Why this matters: Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a daily choice. The strongest marriages are built on commitment that goes deeper than emotion. When you actively choose your partner every day, you create a relationship that can withstand anything.
What choosing each other looks like:
- You prioritize your marriage over other relationships or activities
- You think about your partner during the day
- You look forward to seeing them
- You consider their needs and feelings in your decisions
- You work on the relationship even when it’s hard
- You speak well of your spouse to others
- You protect your marriage from outside threats
- You invest time and energy into your partnership
The commitment factor: Research shows that “dedication commitment”—choosing to be together because you want to, not just because you should—is the strongest predictor of relationship success.
Reality check: Marriage isn’t always easy or exciting. Some days are hard, boring, or frustrating. But if, at the end of those days, you still want to be with this person—if you’d choose them again knowing everything you know now—your marriage is stronger than you might realize.
What experts say: Marriage therapists report that the couples most likely to go the distance aren’t the ones who never have problems—they’re the ones who face problems and still choose to stay and work through them.
Why We Doubt Our Own Marriages
If your marriage has many of these signs, you might wonder why you ever doubted its strength. Here’s why this happens:
Social media creates unrealistic expectations: We see curated highlights of other people’s relationships and compare them to our everyday reality.
Romance movies set impossible standards: Real love isn’t constant passion and grand gestures—it’s everyday commitment and quiet intimacy.
We focus on what’s missing: Humans naturally notice what’s wrong more than what’s right. You might overlook the ten things going well to worry about the one thing that’s difficult.
We forget to appreciate the ordinary: The most powerful aspects of a strong marriage—trust, companionship, reliability—can feel mundane because they’re constant.
We compare to the early days: The passionate, can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other phase is wonderful, but it’s not sustainable long-term. Mature love feels different—calmer, deeper, more secure.
The Bottom Line
A strong marriage isn’t about perfection, constant romance, or never having problems. It’s about partnership, commitment, and choosing each other through life’s ups and downs.
If you recognize several of these signs in your marriage, take a moment to appreciate what you’ve built. You and your spouse have created something that many couples never achieve—a relationship based on genuine friendship, mutual respect, and deep trust.
The strongest marriages often look ordinary from the outside. There are no dramatic declarations or constant excitement. Instead, there’s quiet contentedness, reliable support, comfortable companionship, and the security of knowing you have a true partner in life.
So if you’ve been wondering whether your marriage measures up, stop comparing yourself to others or to some idealized version of romance. Look at the everyday reality of your relationship. Can you be yourself? Do you trust each other? Do you face life as a team? Do you still choose each other?
If you answered yes to those questions, your marriage is probably much stronger than you think. And that’s something worth celebrating—and protecting—every single day.
What signs of strength do you see in your own marriage? Share in the comments below!
Quick Self-Assessment
How many of these apply to your marriage?
Everyday Intimacy:
- ☐ We’re comfortable in silence together
- ☐ We make each other laugh regularly
- ☐ We have private jokes and shared history
- ☐ We support each other’s individual interests
Conflict & Communication:
- ☐ We fight fair when we disagree
- ☐ We can be vulnerable with each other
- ☐ We work as a team on problems
- ☐ We don’t keep score
Commitment & Resilience:
- ☐ We’ve weathered major storms together
- ☐ We actively choose each other every day
Scoring:
- 8-10 signs: Your marriage is exceptionally strong
- 5-7 signs: You have a solid, healthy relationship
- 3-4 signs: Your marriage has good foundations; focus on strengthening weak areas
- 0-2 signs: Consider seeking marriage counseling to build a stronger partnership
Remember: No marriage is perfect, and every relationship has room for growth. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress and partnership.